Dating an alpha female

Caveats aside, what is actually meant by an "alpha female"?

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Well, broadly speaking, an alpha female is a successful, driven woman who doesn't fit the stereotypical female role: As women's rights become more and more accepted within the mainstream, it's likely that greater numbers of women will fit into the "alpha female" category. But what does this all mean for the men who date alpha females? Are there special rules and ways of behaving? Should you feel different about your own masculinity because your partner is an alpha?

And how does dating an alpha female differ from dating other types of women? There's an unfortunate cultural trope left over from the bygone era of traditional gender roles: But longstanding cultural attitudes die hard, and often even well-meaning and open-minded men can't help but feel a little bit emasculated by the success of their female partners.

Thinking Of Dating An Alpha Female? Read This First

One way to help keep these feelings at bay is to remember that they are partly just good old-fashioned human insecurity, which is a completely normal impulse. Regardless of your gender, it's always difficult to remain completely calm and collected when you feel as though a peer is outstripping you in a personal, economic or social sense.

These feelings are going to persist — or even be exacerbated — when the person doing the outstripping is your most intimate partner. Simply recognizing that insecurity and perhaps even jealousy is rearing its ugly head can help you keep these feelings from burgeoning out of control. Whenever you feel a sense of jealousy, shame or emasculation because of your alpha female partner, it can also help to step back, take a few deep breaths and take stock of the situation.

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When you have your own interests , it helps a lot. An alpha female is her own person, and much of the time, she likes a partner who is their own person. When you have your interests, you can entertain yourself and you are less likely to get jealous when your partner is engrossed in a big project or goes out to lunch with a friend.

How to Date an Alpha Female

That goes a long way with an alpha female who wants her own space sometimes, and who is driven to the point where she wants to accomplish her goals before turning her attention to you. After making a ton of decisions throughout the day, an alpha female might not want to decide where to go for dinner.

Making another decision, or trying to people for another minute if your alpha is also an introvert , can feel exhausting. Instead, be ready to make decisions. At the very least, narrow it down to two or three options. You can also suggest activities for the both of you.

How To Date An Alpha Female - AskMen

She might want to do something with you, but not have to make the plans. However, many men I date feel uncomfortable with me once they start talking to me.


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I make a pretty decent living, and mostly get to do what I want, when I want. They get upset when I try to pay for my own meal and especially theirs. If you decide to date an alpha female, try not to feel threatened. If I ask someone on a date, I expect to pay. It gets worse if I actually make more money than them. I will be giving you my heart.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love — one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away. Nothing terrifies me more than being so close to someone and then watching them become a stranger again. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement.

How to be 'The Man' with an Alpha female

Dedicated to your stories and ideas. A website by Thought. Stephen Cook Strong, independent alpha females are self sufficient, but we also have big hearts and love hard.

I will not be a rebound woman, or someone you date to try to fill an empty space.